Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
