we have pet lesbian snakes
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
