I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
