I just saw a hot homeless man
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
