I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
