Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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