I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
