North Korea, Best Korea!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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