Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My liver just had a heart attack.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
