are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
