I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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