farters have to be the big spoon...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
