I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
