They should really pass out barf bags in church
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
