Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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