So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
