he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
When did angry sex become our thing?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
