Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
