Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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