FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
