Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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