see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
