her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
