I murdered the dance floor call the cops
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
