We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
