she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
