i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
