physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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