I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
