Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
