i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
