Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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