party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
