Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
