White coat. Heels.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
