Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
