She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
