I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
