Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
