apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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