I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
