Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
