If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
