I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
