I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She even gives head with a lisp.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
