is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
