naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
