oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she pinky promised me she was 18
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Randomize
