Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
