$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
