I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
