My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i now understand why vodka
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
