A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize